Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
