We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
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