I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Randomize
