My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Randomize
