I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
