Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
Randomize
