He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
