Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
Randomize
