I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
I puked a lego.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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