Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
Randomize
