my dad came in to wish me a happy birthday and found me passed out in my underwear with the lights on and a plate of meat on the bed. i bet he was proud to have contributed to my creation in that moment.
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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