I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
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