I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
23 Men Confess The Moment They Realized They Wanted A Divorce
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
The 23 Most Inappropriate Things To Happen At A Funeral
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.