i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.