i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
These 23 People Had Coworkers From Hell
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
21 NSFW Facts About Famous Celebrities That Will Blow Your Mind
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.