Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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