god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b