All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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