And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Randomize
