i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
Randomize
