I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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