i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
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