Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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