The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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