Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
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