when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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