Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
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I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
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