Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
false alarm. still invincible.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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