I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
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