If i come over, it means nothing
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Randomize
