His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
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