Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
