i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
Randomize
