Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
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