in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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