His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
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