we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
tell me about the eggs
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
