tell your sister to shave her snatch
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
Randomize
