are you still at the devil's house?
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
