Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize
