She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
Randomize
