I can feel you judging me through the phone.
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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