White coat. Heels.
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
Randomize
