Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
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I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
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Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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