That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Randomize
