i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
