the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
We are two peas in an std pod
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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