I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
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