I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
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