That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
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