Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
Randomize
