I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
do herpes really smell.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Randomize
