Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
cat food counts as protein by the way
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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