There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Randomize
