I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
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