so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
Randomize
