She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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