WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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