actually, I'm a sock model
i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
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