There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
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